at least i'm feeling more alive.

i'm trying too hard to fix other people's problems. i should really think about fixing my own. i want to see the people i care about with smiles on their faces. real smiles. i want to know that i've made a change somewhere, somehow. this post is probably dripping with self-pity, but i don't know how else to explain. it's like i've placed my problems in a completely unimportant category. right here, right now, i feel like i'm standing on the outside, looking in on the people i love. the people i love aren't happy. the people i love are self-destructive. i'm afraid.